Charlie Baker’s coronavirus brags ring hollow
Howie Carr, August 2, 2020
What exactly is Gov. Charlie Baker bragging about?
Over the past few days, when not threatening partygoers, the man Joe Biden calls “Charlie Parker” has been endlessly patting himself on the back about “our success so far” and how the peons must continue “doing the things that got us to the point we’re at today.”
What point are we actually at in Massachusetts? Let’s look at what Tall Deval likes to call “the data.”
Death rate per 100,000: 125, third-worst in the nation, behind only New York and New Jersey. Unemployment rate: 17.4%, the worst in the nation. Number of Massachusetts residents who have filed for unemployment since March 15: 1,144,983.
That’s the point we’re at. Why is this man smiling?
Charlie Baker is leading … us right down the drain.
“People in Massachusetts,” he bragged on Thursday, “have worked exceptionally hard over the past several months to get to this point.”
If these catastrophic numbers are the product of his “exceptionally hard” work, perhaps he would be better off taking the rest of the summer off — you know, the way he says the virus won’t.
The problem for Charlie Parker is the same one that eventually topples all cult leaders and other assorted charlatans. You can only yell “the sky is falling!” so many times before your sheeple start looking … skyward.
This is a big weekend for Tall Deval. His new travel ban has gone into effect. This should do wonders for what’s left of the summer tourist season. “The travel-form website has had over a million hits,” he was boasting Friday. “And 8,000 people have so far filled out the form.”
As for the other 992,000 — most of them just made a mental note of how deranged the Commonwealth of Maskachusetts has become.
Of course, we’re all in this together, and don’t you forget it, if you know what’s good for you.
You must understand, Charlie Parker is suffering along with everyone else. Why, down in New Bedford, he whined Friday, they’ve canceled “the Blessed Feast of the Sacrament, which is one of our all-time favorite events.”
Fascinating, governor. It’s actually the Feast of the Blessed Sacrament. You don’t even know its name, but it’s one of your all-time favorite events, you damned heathen.
But mostly, Charlie Parker is angry. It’s another problem all cult leaders have — eventually those suffering under the jackboot figure out the grift. In this case, it’s all in his own data, which says that among people under the age of 20, the death rate in Massachusetts is zero. That’s right, zero.
Among state residents between 20 and 29, the death rate is 2 per 100,000. Among those 30-39, it’s 4 per 100,000. These are Tall Deval’s own numbers, and they put the lie to his apocalyptic rhetoric.
At some point, as the Beastie Boys would say, you gotta fight for your right to party.
But under Tall Deval, fun is verboten in Maskachusetts. Only he doesn’t call it “fun,” he calls it “private recreational behavior.”
That recent kegger in Chatham, the graduation event in Chelmsford, the booze cruise in Boston Harbor, the football camp in South Weymouth, the lifeguard party in Falmouth, the prom in Cohasset — Tall Deval is making a list and he’s checking it twice.
He recited them all on Friday, his shrill voice rising with contempt and exasperation over his subjects’ failure to follow his nonnegotiable orders.
All these “troubling clusters,” as he calls parties, will be investigated by the Department of Public Health, which knows a lot about “clusters” — like the 38,000 criminal drug tests they falsified at the state labs in Jamaica Plain and Amherst.
Law-abiding citizens are endlessly lectured about “compliance” and “vigilance” and “respect” and “observing the sector guidance.”
Of course, if you want to riot and loot — no problem. The thugs who trashed Boston in early June, those “folks” got no harangues from Tall Deval, only a pat on the back. They weren’t looting, you see, they were participating in “large gatherings.”
“In many cases,” he said in June of the looters, “they were moving, which I think is a big difference and of course they all took place outside which we all agree is a far safer environment than indoors.”
If you have a party, it “dramatically increases” the chances of a “troubling cluster.” Rioting on the other hand — Tall Deval describes that as “congregating in large groups to exercise their First Amendment rights.”
So here’s the deal: If you want to party and your name isn’t Polito, just put up a few anti-police signs in your front yard, scatter some broken glass in the driveway and throw down some high-end shoe and Rolex watch boxes — that way, Charlie Parker’s Mask Gestapo will know that you are undocumented shoppers who are allowed to hold “large gatherings.”
Some final statistics: fatalities due to the above-mentioned “private recreational behavior” denounced by the governor on Friday: zero.
Fatalities in the nursing homes which were supposed to be regulated by Gov. Charlie Parker’s state government: 5,486 (of 8,389 overall deaths in Massachusetts).
You want to know what a “recipe for disaster” is in Massachusetts? It’s putting Tall Deval in charge of anything.
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